STORY-TELLING UNIT: IDEA CHANGES

After pitching to my class mates and my course leader about my script idea I received feedback from both.

Simon (Course leader)
Simon explained to me that he wasn't hugely comfortable with my idea as it was going outside the project rules and moving too far towards a horror genre rather than a thriller with the use of a ghost and that I need to come back towards a thriller or a drama with this idea. Simon did explain at the beginning of the unit that Horror wasn't allowed and the 3 genres we had to choose from were Drama, Comedy and Thriller. Simon carried on to say that the 'ghost' character in the story was what was making it too close to a horror and this is what needs to be changed. However he likes the two characters (Father and Daughter) and the relationship and story that comes with them and suggested that I make that the focus of the story.
Simon did say that I didn't have to completely cut this ghostly character and could have a few jumps and scares through the story but the focus on the story will have to be on the Father and Daughter to comply with the project rules. I explained to Simon that I'm more confident writing Horror script and he went on to explain that the point of this unit is to get us out of our comfort zone and challenge us with writing.

Classmates
The feedback I got from my classmates was mostly positive. The characters had good feedback and I was told that their descriptions and stories worked well together and it made the story sound interesting. They did ask about the ghostly character and how she was going to be a part of the story and I did get pointed out that we know nothing about her so to show her back story so trying to tell the audience that as well as keep the focus on James and Lily would be really hard in only 10 minutes. My classmate Ethan gave a suggestion on how I could alter the story. He suggested removing the 'ghost' and making the journey to the house the aim for the Father as he would be going to meet an old friend but we later find out that this friend murdered his daughter and have the father and Daughter try to escpae.

Ethan's suggestion was really interesting and a good idea but I just couldn't see it working in my head. But after the feedback I thought about what I could do with the characters I'd made and I had an idea which works well. 

I decided to stick with my characters exactly as they are since the feedback from them was really positive and they work really well. I did as Simon and Ethan suggested and cut the 'ghost' from the story completely but also decided to cut the other character (ghosts father) and change the location to only have the country lane. I wanted this location for a horror/thirller script and this new idea could work really well in just one location which makes the script simplar as well. 
The story is now:
James and Lily are driving home down a country road one night, neither have opened up to each other about how the death of the mother effected them. Their car then breaks down in the middle of no-where, there's no cars passing by, no signal and no-way of getting help. The 3 mains point of the story are:

Goal - Find a way to get home and/or fix the car

Conflict - The daughter gets angry and tries to walk away, both characters argue due to each not understanding where the other is coming from or how they feel.

Change - They both learn how each other felt after the death of the mother and open up about why they're really like this and build their relationship back together. As well a car drive up and they can finally get help.

I feel that this already works better and changes the story to a drama as well. I still get to keep my characters and also get the challenge of writing a drama which I haven't done before so I'm out of my comfort zone with this.