We decided to open with some facts and figures that we had found online, just to try and show how huge the selfie culture is these days. Try to make the audience see how big this is before dropping the question "but a picture is just a picture right?" We want to audience to start to think if a selfie could be harmful, if it could be dangerous and get them thinking while our title sequence comes on.
We then added in the stories about disrespectful actions towards the Holocaust, showing that we as a generation are being disrespectful and there is a growing issue but this needs to be sorted.
We went on to have the first interview as the Museum, which originally was going to be the Imperial War Museum but they dropped out so we cut this in the next version.
After this we wanted to move on to interview the Holocaust Survivors and get their opinion of these disrespectful acts and introduce the selfies that we found online at the Holocaust Memorial in Berlin. Which afterwards leads in nicely to discussing Shahak Shapira and his Yolocaust project and then te travel sequence to Berlin.
When geting to Berlin we go over to the memorial to find peoples opinions and see the vox pops and then we got to Shahak Shapira to talk about the Yolocaust project. Then finally, before going back to England we'd see him go over to the Jewish Museum and interview the final expert.
We'd like the documentary to be concluded by Kamran, since he's the one going on this trip and we follow him throughout the documentary.
Feedback
Helen's feedback on this version was on the context and writing. It's not very BBC3. There's a lot of facts straight away and we need to lead the audience in slowly, we're being very formal and heavy on the facts and that can throw people off straight away. The change of topic with bringing up the stories of disrespect towards the Holocaust is very sudden and a shocking change which doesn't work. It changes from the point we were making about selfies and social media.
“It seems to people my age doing this. Are we numb to what happened all those years ago? My name is Kamran and I’m aiming to find out” Helen found this part is almost already making a conclusion. The entire intro with our presenter is very abrupt and needs to be simple and establish the task he's going to under take.
We also need to make the script more natural which we can work on with Kamran, some of the words and very robotic. We also go from saying we're meeting Shahak, to the memorial and then actually going to Shahak which doesn't make much sense.
With the conclusion, we were suggested to include sync clips as well as our presenters thoughts since our interviews will carry our documentary as well. However, because we aren't sure of the conclusion till we've been on this journey then we can't figure this out until we are in the edit.
With our newest version we tried to go a bit more informal and light hearted in the beginning with the asking who doesn't love a good selfie. Then giving a quick fire fact to show how big the selfie culture is these days and finally the question whether a picture can harm anyone or not. Then we're have the beginning of the title sequence with Kamran's voice over explaining that selfies can hurt and get you in Legal trouble and we drop in "what if they were taken as a Holocaust Memorial?" to shock the audience.
The first interview then is David to find out why people might take these selfies and the culture that social media has behind it. We'll then go on to the Holocaust Survivors to get their reaction of the selfies at the memorial before going on to Berlin to Berlin.
We still kept it as the Vox Pops and then Shahak as we felt this would work better. Then going on to the Jewish Museum and our conclusion.
Our main changes with this version was the structure as we took out the UK museum interview and put David there instead. We made big changes on the wording and made it more natural and slightly informal to appeal better to the target audience.
Feedback
Helen liked the new intro and the lead up to the documentary with this edit. Her main feedback was that we need to look at the lead ups to characters more as we can tend to go off topic with this version and that needs the most work. But, we can also work more on the structure as it's very linear at the current moment and we need to get the audience ready for Berlin as that's our biggest part of the documentary.
This version is our final draft before shooting. We only edited the wording with this version to make it flow better and easier for Kamran but after talking with him on Skype, we agreed that he can alter the script to how he would prefer to say it if there is anything that he couldn't say or wouldn't.
We showed Helen this version and we were given the green light for filming.
We then added in the stories about disrespectful actions towards the Holocaust, showing that we as a generation are being disrespectful and there is a growing issue but this needs to be sorted.
We went on to have the first interview as the Museum, which originally was going to be the Imperial War Museum but they dropped out so we cut this in the next version.
After this we wanted to move on to interview the Holocaust Survivors and get their opinion of these disrespectful acts and introduce the selfies that we found online at the Holocaust Memorial in Berlin. Which afterwards leads in nicely to discussing Shahak Shapira and his Yolocaust project and then te travel sequence to Berlin.
When geting to Berlin we go over to the memorial to find peoples opinions and see the vox pops and then we got to Shahak Shapira to talk about the Yolocaust project. Then finally, before going back to England we'd see him go over to the Jewish Museum and interview the final expert.
We'd like the documentary to be concluded by Kamran, since he's the one going on this trip and we follow him throughout the documentary.
Feedback
Helen's feedback on this version was on the context and writing. It's not very BBC3. There's a lot of facts straight away and we need to lead the audience in slowly, we're being very formal and heavy on the facts and that can throw people off straight away. The change of topic with bringing up the stories of disrespect towards the Holocaust is very sudden and a shocking change which doesn't work. It changes from the point we were making about selfies and social media.
“It seems to people my age doing this. Are we numb to what happened all those years ago? My name is Kamran and I’m aiming to find out” Helen found this part is almost already making a conclusion. The entire intro with our presenter is very abrupt and needs to be simple and establish the task he's going to under take.
We also need to make the script more natural which we can work on with Kamran, some of the words and very robotic. We also go from saying we're meeting Shahak, to the memorial and then actually going to Shahak which doesn't make much sense.
With the conclusion, we were suggested to include sync clips as well as our presenters thoughts since our interviews will carry our documentary as well. However, because we aren't sure of the conclusion till we've been on this journey then we can't figure this out until we are in the edit.
With our newest version we tried to go a bit more informal and light hearted in the beginning with the asking who doesn't love a good selfie. Then giving a quick fire fact to show how big the selfie culture is these days and finally the question whether a picture can harm anyone or not. Then we're have the beginning of the title sequence with Kamran's voice over explaining that selfies can hurt and get you in Legal trouble and we drop in "what if they were taken as a Holocaust Memorial?" to shock the audience.
The first interview then is David to find out why people might take these selfies and the culture that social media has behind it. We'll then go on to the Holocaust Survivors to get their reaction of the selfies at the memorial before going on to Berlin to Berlin.
We still kept it as the Vox Pops and then Shahak as we felt this would work better. Then going on to the Jewish Museum and our conclusion.
Our main changes with this version was the structure as we took out the UK museum interview and put David there instead. We made big changes on the wording and made it more natural and slightly informal to appeal better to the target audience.
Feedback
Helen liked the new intro and the lead up to the documentary with this edit. Her main feedback was that we need to look at the lead ups to characters more as we can tend to go off topic with this version and that needs the most work. But, we can also work more on the structure as it's very linear at the current moment and we need to get the audience ready for Berlin as that's our biggest part of the documentary.
This version is our final draft before shooting. We only edited the wording with this version to make it flow better and easier for Kamran but after talking with him on Skype, we agreed that he can alter the script to how he would prefer to say it if there is anything that he couldn't say or wouldn't.
We showed Helen this version and we were given the green light for filming.
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